My nest

I just checked on my little birds all snug in their beds. My heart aches a little each night as I look at them one more time before I go to sleep. Moments of the day come back to me, some good and some not so good. Tonight I'm reminded of getting after Abe in front of everyone at Lilly's school. I'm also reminded of him coming over to me later that morning and putting his arms around me and nuzzling his head into my neck while i gave him kiss after kiss.

I think of Lilly reading to Abe in the back of the car and how she always looks after her brothers and loves them tremendously. I also remember how her heart broke when Abe grabbed her unicorn silly strands bracelet and it broke. It was such an honest devastation with big tears and slumped over shoulders. And I think of how bright her eyes were when she told me she had finished reading a book we had started together earlier in the evening.

Then Oliver...is there anything sweeter than the sleeping little body of a baby about to turn 1? My favorite thought of him today was when I put him in the swing for the first time at the park. He loved it and as he'd swing forward I'd give him a kiss and he'd laugh and show his teeth, which make him look so much older. And then when I'd turn my head to check on Abe and then look back at Oliver, his eyes would be wide with apprehension and his little fists would be clinging tightly to the icky blue swing. Then I'd smile and give him a kiss and the laughing would begin again.

And now I'm thinking of my 4:30 wake up call to run with friends, something I dread and look forward to all at once. And I'm thinking how utterly exhausted I feel and so...good night