Calling all horrible mothers!!

Are there any other mothers out there who (in a moment of complete and utter frustration and exhaustion) threaten their children with completely unfair punishments if you are not obeyed THIS INSTANT? And then you hope with all your shrinking heart that they do what you say so you don't actually have to follow through with what you said because you don't want to have to do it but if you don't do it then your letting your kids walk all over you? I am such a mother. I threatened Abe that I would throw away his candy from a trunk or treat if he did not obey THIS INSTANT. And he didn't. And I did. And I think it actually hurt me more than it hurt him.

Look at these faces. Good luck sweet children! Daddy and I are starting therapy savings accounts for you!!

One month down...

Here is Oliver on my beloved blue couch on his one month birthday. Look at those cute chicken legs.

Here's the naughty side of Oliver. I don't know why he doesn't like sitting up on an itchy blue couch with bright lights flashing in his eyes.

What you do in the fall in las vegas

Here we are heading out to the pumpkin patch located in a casino's parking lot. We went last year a few times and the kids both remembered it and have been asking to go since they saw it being put together in September. In fact, Kelly and I would have to avoid driving past because once Abe saw it, he NEVER stopped talking about going and then Kelly and I would start pulling our hair out. Finally we were able to go last week.

I don't know if it's a good idea to let Abe touch animals.

Lilly loved the bungee jump thing.

A grand time was had by all.

Just cause he's so cute

Oliver seems to like the pacifier. I wanted to avoid giving him one at all costs because Abe took one and it caused all sorts of trouble until he was able to put it in his mouth himself. I remember getting up sometimes 10 times a night to put it back in his mouth when he was just a baby. BUT... you gotta do what you gotta do to get some sleep (not to mention just some peace and quiet). We'll see how it goes.

Thinking of things

It will be hard for me to forget what it felt like to have my first child. I cried as we left the house for the last time as just the two of us, mostly out of fear and some anxiety about the future. I felt something like a twisting in my stomach as we entered our little apartment as three and I thought, "what do I do now?" Exactly a week after she was born, I was eating dinner and I felt like I was sinking. It was a very hard year with what I'm sure was postpartum depression. It didn't help that I was the size of the Michelin Man and Lilly cried (read: screamed) the better part of the day and I didn't feel confident to go out of the house very much. During that often dark and lonesome time, my sister sent me books. Little packages would arrive at my door with the perfect present inside. One such gift was Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott. Reading about her craziness during the first year with her son made my own craziness seem a bit more normal. She captures, hilariously, the feelings of love you feel for your child so overwhelming your throat aches and then the exhausted fits of crying and wondering why you even had a baby. {Note: it's not for squeamish} So, I sometimes refer back to Anne's (we're on a first name basis) journal just to read something authentic and less than perfect. Having children is exhausting and can bring out the "crazy" in all of us. I wish more mothers talked about how hard it is, not to scare off potential mothers, but to say hey, you'll feel like hell and you'll look like hell. There may be times when you think life without children looks pretty grand, BUT, you'll get through it, those feelings pass (eventually) and the feelings of contentment and love you can feel towards your children will surpass everything else. It will all be okay. (I have to remind myself of this)



Lest you think I'm having a hard time, I'll say this: Oliver (so far) is a happier little baby compared to my other two, even at this young age. I don't feel the sinking like I did with Lilly and even a little bit with Abe. Life is busy, but good. And the fact that I can climb the stairs without catching my breath is fantastic.



So to end on a lighter note, I'd like to share a quote from Anne. This is really what new mothers should be prepared for.

"Oh, but my stomach, she is like a waterbed covered with flannel now. When I lie on my side in bed, my stomach lies politely beside me, like a puppy."

Now that Oliver's here, I'm on to my next great challenge- losing this stinking baby weight and then I'm going to burn my maternity clothes that I'm still forced to wear. Care to join me?

Please bless...

This was Abe's prayer last night and tonight:

"Please bless Daddy to go to work. Please bless Lilly to go to school. Please bless Mommy to go to (slight pause) Target..."

Introduction to Parenthood (of 3)

Oliver is 3 weeks old today. Although I am enjoying how he is now, I do look forward to the whole sleeping through the night part. I promise to post some pictures of him soon but he's sporting the baby acne right now and needs a good bath. I'm sure he'll be ready for the spotlight after he's all refreshed.

You'd think that after already having one boy, I'd be prepared whilst changing diapers and cover up his little squirter. Not so. I keep thinking I'm going to be so fast during the change that nothing will get me, but I keep getting tinkled on and this morning got pooped on (the silent kind). All this while dealing with two other feverish children, one of which (or is it whom) was throwing up, and I have clogged milk ducts on each side. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for him, Kelly has his day off today and is having to take care of us all. Now at almost 4:30 in the afternoon, we're dying to get out of the house and have no real place to go so we'll probably head over to Target. Have you been to the new one? It's lovely.

p.s. There's no real point to this post.

Just kidding

Remember how I said a few posts back how I was feeling good and the baby was good and I thought maybe all of this having three kids and such was going to be okay? I LIED!! Today I found myself crying in the middle of Target- TWICE and crying at the thought of sleeping more than two hours at a time and crying when I came home and saw my husband awake after his night shift (this one was out of relief). It's interesting to note, however, that I didn't cry when I tried on clothes that looked really funky and awful on my postpartum weirdo body. At least I have my priorities straight. I know it gets better. I know it gets easier. Blah blah blah. I want sleep. I want! I want! I want!

I don't want to forget

There are things my kids say or do that I think I'll always remember and then I forget to write them down and then, well, I forget. Today Abe created "traffic" along the stair railing in the loft with his cars and animals. And then later today, while Kelly and Lilly were on a date at the movies and Oliver was asleep, Abe and I had a "popcorn party." These little fiestas were created during my pregnancy so I could rest and the kids were distracted. But today it was definitely a special treat to have kettle corn with my boy while watching the usual Sense and Sensibility. Abe even tried to teach me how to eat the popcorn just like him (popping it in his mouth and saying "mmmm...") but try as I might he said maybe I just have to be older like him before I can do it.

p.s. I forgot to add that earlier today while shopping for a nursing bra, I chased Abe around the lingerie department as he squeezed with both hands the cups on each bra as he cruised by, laughing all the while. He then hugged a mannequin wearing only a bra and panties (hate that word by the way). It's a concern.

Thanks Tia Sandra...

I love the clothes you gave to me. I tried to put on as many as possible even if they're two sizes to big. Tell "D" his Star Wars shirt is in good hands.

Love, Abe

We might be bad parents...

...but our kids' umbilical cords have always come off earlier than the nurses tell you they're supposed to. What can we do? Glue it back on?
Ollie's first bath. Obviously he's not a fan.

It's quiet..so I can blog

Kelly's got the older kids at Lilly's soccer practice and the baby is asleep. I feel no shame in not doing housework even though there's plenty to do. I don't feel like resting. I want to blog and I want to feel like my old self (including some extra poundage). The first week with Oliver has gone by and it's been good. I've only broken down maybe 3 or 4 (okay maybe 6 or 7) times wondering how I'm going to raise 3 children, when am I going to sleep again, will I ever stop wearing maternity clothes, etc... Everyone (Kelly, family and friends) has been wonderful and giving to my little family. It's really made entering this new phase of our lives a little less scary and perhaps even a little do-able.
Lilly loves her little brother and when he cries she likes to break into a very high pitched lullaby. She's good at holding him and doesn't seem too bothered by the attention he's getting from me. She's an old hand at having a baby brother and I think this time the transition will be far easier.

Besides a little more aggression towards me than normal, Abe loves Oliver (although he sometimes calls him Charlie). Here you see him kissing the baby, always two kisses, and he constantly has to be reminded not to lick him. "Nobody likes to be licked," I tell him. Whether that's actually a universal statement is up to the individual, but I have to protect my baby. Abe does have to be watched closely with the baby because there have been occasions where he wacks the baby's head or squeezes his ears or toes or smooshes his cheeks, but I'm sure it's all done out of love.

Thanks to everyone for their love and support and for family who have driven and sacrificed to be here for his birth and to help with the kids.
Hugs and kisses