In Mourning

Why is it that right when things start to get a little easier with a child, they make a shift or enter a new phase and all chaos breaks loose yet again? Today marks the end of a glorious era with Abe. Dearest Abe who loves his bed and who would sit in his bed for quite a while and rub the sheets in between his fingers or toes while enjoying his fally (a.k.a. pacifier) whilst I shower or put on make up or just get a needed break. The glorious crib that would contain my child without being cruel like a cage. I could kiss that crib I've loved it so much. But alas, the time has come for Abe to have a big boy bed for as much as I love the crib, I love my son more and would like all his bones to stay in tact (i.e. stop falling out of the crib). How shall I manage? I don't know. I only hope that some day in the future I'll be able to take a shower without a little boy tapping on the door waiting for me to come out. Either that or not knowing where he is and rushing to get out of the shower with hopefully all the shampoo rinsed out so I can make sure he's not climbing the shelves in the pantry or dunking his hand in the toilet. Ahhhh, life.

A Letter To My Husband This Fine Morn

Last night Kelly went out to run an errand and since he was out I asked if he would pick up a few things from Vons for me. This is always a risky move because even though I give very specific guidelines as to the things that I need, he always comes home either with something very unnecessary that I don't want in the house or a variation on the thing that I wanted and so it ends up not being what I need. Yes, I know, I should be grateful he does this for me blah blah blah. But it's actually very vexing. Case in point: last night Kelly comes home with a box of donuts and Coldstone ice cream. The ice cream isn't tempting to me at all. But O! the donuts. How I enjoy a good pastry covered in grease and sugar. And I'm trying to cut out most sweets. And I'm trying to lose a little poundage. And he knows this.

So I wrote him a letter. I placed it in front of the box of donuts so he's sure to see it. Do you think it's going to do any good? You're right, it won't because Kelly has an addiction. He's addicted to sugar. Might as well face it.

do you like SEE food?

Two things:
What my baby wants, my baby gets. Even if that means leftover pizza, fritos and day old animal crackers at 9 in the morning.

Abe and I were dancing to Ray Charles last night and I ask Lilly to join us. Well, she had just dressed for dinner and proclaimed, "I don't want to dance. I just want to look in the mirror." And that's just what she did.

A Tribute

Today (actually tomorrow) I'd like to publicly thank my husband for turning 32! My heart is full with gratitude for him and all that he does. I'm grateful that he works so hard and is so stinkin' smart about medical stuff. I'm grateful that he takes out the trash twice a week. I'm thankful that he is such a great dad and hosts the most amazing dance parties for our family. I'm thankful that he is so encouraging when it comes to my running, blogging, healthy cooking, crafting, life-bettering, child teaching, fat days having and he even tolerates my Anthropologie loving heart. I'm grateful that he doesn't make me write down 32 reasons why I love him (not that I don't have 32 reasons, I actually have 33, but you guys would be sooooooooo jealous!). I just want him to know that I lurve him with every fiber in my being and I'm grateful that he's my best friend forever and ever!

Amen, ur, The End

Awakening the Beast

I lovingly refer to Abe as "the beast." It's just a nickname that came so naturally after his personality started to emerge. Even so, he's just the most darling little boy you've ever seen (that's not just an opinion, it's a FACT) and I love his long, wild and unruly hair because it's just him. But the time came to cut it and so we did (but only so it will grow out again to it's previous state).

My mom has a theory that when little boys get their hair cut, they become quite naughty. I can't imagine Abe being even naughtier than before, but I'm keeping my eye on him. Do you see that look in his eyes? Maybe we made a mistake!

I'm Average!!!!

I ran a half marathon on Saturday and this is the unfortunate picture my dad took. I think he did a good job capturing the exact feeling of my mind and body after the race, so that attests to his skills with the camera.

My time was 2:04:39 to be precise. In my age group I was #76 out of 150. For my gender (female) I was #289 out of 605 and overall I was #590 out of 1033. So, gee whiz, I never thought it would feel so good to be average!* {As a side note average also means: ordinary, passable, fair, so-so, tolerable, unexceptional, mediocre and garden-variety. I'm not saying I'm that way, I'm just saying that is what the thesaurus says.} Now you may detect some sarcasm (and if you can't then maybe something's wrong with you) but I am really quite happy with my time and I'm glad I did it.

I'd like to thank my faithful supporters: Dad, Cari, Ruby and Lilly. It really means a lot to me that you came. Where was Kelly, you ask? Oh, he didn't want to come. Well, maybe he was sick and couldn't be there. You decide.

Hugs and Kisses!

* This is just my attempt at being humorous. Whether it comes off that way I know not. This is in no way a true commentary on people who finish first or last or anywhere in between when running a race. Running a race of any length is hard and all I wanted to do when I finished was curl up in a ball and cry. In fact, I did cry and then I ate Cafe Rio.

On The First Day...

On my quest for sainthood, or woman of the year, or wife of the month, or at least to give Kelly a good birthday, I've decided to celebrate THE TWELVE DAYS OF KELLY! Here is my first offering...

On the first day of Kelly my true love (that's me not this) gave to me,

a bag full of fat free candy.

{Sing to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," obviously}

Dirty Laundry

The other night my neighbor popped over and asked if Lilly could accompany her and her daughter on a jaunt around the neighborhood. While Lilly got ready to go, my neighbor invited herself on a tour of my house. Interesting side note, to me anyway, is that particular day I had mused to myself that although there were still several boxes of Christmas things to put away and there was still some junk on the kitchen island, I was happy to think that at least the dishes were done and there weren't a ton of toys to pick up. Then she came over and I became keenly aware of the food left on the counter, the pile of coats needing to be hung up, the princess tent covering the dining room floor and every other undecorated room and misplaced item. I found myself apologizing for the socks and shoes haphazardly strewn across the hall. When her daughter stepped on and crushed some cereal on the kitchen floor my neighbor said, "Oh Captain Crunch." Yep, I said and confessed it had been a few days since I vacuumed. And it was Kix, but whatever. Then she kept saying how my house felt smaller than hers even though we have THE EXACT SAME HOUSE! I felt like she was saying "my house is bigger than yours. na na na na na na" with her thumbs in her ears wiggling her fingers and her tongue sticking out at me. But really, who cares? Then I followed her around while she turned lights off and on and examined each room (except the bathrooms which were actually clean and tidy-it figures!). Then she went upstairs (get ready for a run-on) and saw the book shelf that Abe had thrown all the books out of and then pushed it over and it's still in the same position even though it happened several days ago but why pick it up when he's just going to do it again? Then she made her way to the bedrooms and not. a. bed. was. made. And that, by the way, is kind of normal.

I was horrified and then she left. And then I laughed. And then I called Kelly and told him that our neighbor had come over and seen every inch of our messy home and I laughed some more. And then I made dinner because that's life, baby, and that's my dirty laundry.

My Brother, My Enemy

I'm the youngest of four children and was/am tortured by my brother just older than me. I had such an emotionally upsetting conversation with him the other day that I had to share in order to heal. Let me preface this by saying that this certain brother, we'll call him K, is the kind of brother who when he would pick me up or drop me off at church he wouldn't stop his car. He would just slow down to a roll and I was excepted to hop in or out. This is the same brother who would come in my room and 6 in the morning playing his trombone. He also, up until this past Christmas, would lock me in the closet every Christmas morning. By the way, this is a picture of him...

Here's a quick preface to the phone call in question: I call my sister to see how my niece's birthday party went. A man answered the phone, I assumed it was my brother-in-law who had a birthday just two days earlier. I say, "Hey R, happy belated birthday."

K (who I think is R) says, "It's about time you called."

Q: I did call. Didn't you get my... K!!! (I finally got it)

K: You're an idiot. You don't even recognize your own brother's voice!

Q: I hate you!! (because I'm 12)

K: You're a retard (because he's 12) Why are you calling me?

Q: I'm calling to talk to C.

K: You called me. S (his wife) isn't here so who did you want to talk to?

[ I double check the phone to make sure I really did call my sister's house, which I did]

Q: I didn't call you. I called C.

K: No you didn't

Q: (I give up and really really wish I had hung up long ago) I'll call her later. (I hang up the phone)

I called Kelly to relay my awful experience and he didn't really get it and maybe you won't either, but it really was tramatic. My brother really gets to me everytime I have to talk to him. Sheesh! When is he gonna grow up?

Thoughts and Other Ramblings

I haven't felt inspired to blog lately until I saw a picture of a teenage Kelly wearing a woman's snowsuit ready to hit the slopes. Long story but I cried real tears of joy and cackled with laughter. We don't have one of those relationships where we don't laugh at the other person. In fact, we laugh at each other a lot. It keeps us grounded, ya know? Anyway, Kelly didn't feel threatened I'd put in on my blog because (as he pointed out) he would only be concerned if I actually knew how to scan a picture. He's right and he got the last laugh...for now. But since I'm here, I might as well share a few things.

I got trapped in Claire's at the mall the other day. It was a very bad experience and I felt like crying. I had just popped in pushing my limosine length double stroller because that's the only one Abe will sit in and Lilly sometimes gets "tired legs" syndrome and I wanted to buy some cheap black headbands for a project I'm working on (see goals below). (FYI they didn't have any...cheap ones, that is.) Of course I had to go to the back of the store to see if they had what I was looking for and while I was there for all of two seconds the store filled up to capacity, which is about five people, and plugged up the two escape routes. Panic, nerves, nausea. How did this happen? I waited, patiently at first, while a grandmother and two kids looked at Hannah Montana hair things while I revved up the stroller just an inch or two away. Couldn't they see me? I mean, I'm right there and Abe's starting to freak out! They still don't move and I try to refrain from running them all over screaming, "Get me out of this plastic hell!" I study the other side to see if I could get out that way, but with four or five very large women and children filling up the aisle I figured my best bet was grandma here. Finally I say "excuse me" and they move really slowly to the side all annoyed and I wanted to shout "I have the right of way! Don't you see I'm a mother who's about to lose my mind if I don't get out right. this. second!!!!" Anyway, I escaped but they lost my business for sure.

So, moving on, I've set goals for January. None of this New Year's Resolutions business for me. I like goals that I can accomplish within a reasonable amount of time. But I have put a lot of thought into these and here are a few for the month.

1. Create. My favorite part of Christmas this year were the things I made for my kids like the cape on Abe and tutu on Lilly. I have so many ideas and feel so empowered when I take an idea and follow through with it. President Uchdorf and I are totally on the same page.

2. Spend more quality time with Lilly. She's craving some love from her parents and has taken a particular liking to her dad. In fact, they're on a date right now at Chuck E. Cheese's and as they were walking out she looked up at him with such adoring eyes. She needs some attention since most of the day seems to be spent taming the beast (a.k.a. Abraham).

3. Speaking of the beast, Abe's a real hoot. Today in the car he was upset about something and to calm him down he wanted to hear "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse. He's a little off center and that's how we like it. But I do want to read to him more and help him to focus his energy on positive play instead of total destruction.


4. I've heard that in your 30's you accept who you are. That's a goal for me even though I'm sure it's hard to believe that I'm already in my 30's. But in the interest of self-acceptance, take a close look at those eyebrows on me. Don't they remind you of this?

5. I want to be a better wife and I think that means buying Kelly presents. (This will be an easy one because it's his birthday this month.) Look at how much he loves receiving gifts. Love and cashmere (for cheap!) all rolled into one.


So this is quite a long post for not really feeling inspired. What's gonna happen when I actually have something to say?