The Poop Scoop

Abe's in bed already. I had an experience with him which lasted only minutes but seemed like an eternity. I had to change his diaper. This was the third or fourth poopie diaper of the day in, what I like to call, a week of yucky, smelly, more-than-usual, diarrhea-ish diaper extravaganza. So, I had to do it. Kelly was at work and it had already seeped onto his pants. He's been so good about it lately, but I guess he'd had it, too, cause he wasn't going down without a fight. I tried everything. I asked, begged and pleaded. I squeezed out a few tears trying to guilt him into it like a good mother should. I got upset, sad, and I even tried to use common sense with him. I tried bribery, threats, yelling and understanding. Nothing worked and so then I had to resort to force. I had to lay him down on the ground, sit over him (not on him) and use my legs to hold down his arms and keep his upper half still. So I'm facing his feet and he's soooooo mad and I yank off his stinky pants. Then I get serious and like a drill sergeant I command, "Abraham! Are you going to be a good boy and be still!?!?" There was no "yes, mam" like I wanted, but after tears, tears and more tears, he finally relinquished and I was able to assume diaper changing position. Of course, the best was yet to come when his hand reached right around to grap his bum that was not completely cleaned yet and after I gasp and beg him not to touch anything (my hands, of course, were occupied holding his legs with one and wiping with the other), he used said hand to cover his face to try to block out the tramatic goings-on. Why, WHY do they always do that? The whole experience was completely exhausting and put me out of commission for the rest of the night. Whoever said parenting isn't work never had to change an angry toddler's diaper.

Pick of the Day

Abe's ensemble of choice as he accessorized himself for dinner includes the following:

a cape, bear backpack, frog boots, bag of pretzels and a coach purse filled with toy cars. And that's how he was dressed when we went out to dinner. When seeing his first born son, Kelly asks, "You like our kids to be a little weird, don't you?"
Well, the only answer for that is, "duh!!!"

Surprise!

Hey everybody, we're having another baby due September 28th. Actually, I'm the only one having the baby because Kelly still fits into his clothes and my waist disappeared weeks ago!

hugs and kisses!

No hands

Lilly had her first soccer game on Saturday afternoon. She's on a team made up of girls from church and school and one of the moms coaches. It was fun to see them out there and not to brag or anything, but um, LILLY SCORED A GOAL!!!! Her dad and I were so proud. Two other little girls scored goals and even with that we were completely annihilated by the amazonian (had to be 6 year olds) soccer princesses with matching purple hair bows. This is war!

All the girls were drowning in their one-size-fits-all uniforms and Lilly had her shorts hiked up so high at one point you could barely see her shirt. Well, maybe not that bad, but close.

Here's my girl.

And here's her team.

What's the team name, you ask? Why it's Team Ariel Sparkle, of course!

I've been thinking

Sometimes I just don't know how many more poopie diapers I can take. They've become so potent and multi-colored and textured that I can hardly look let alone breathe while I change him. I get at least two "loads" a day: one after breakfast and one post-nap. It always seems to happen when Kelly's not around. Even on his days off, Abe seems to hold it in until Kelly's left to run errands or go to the gym. I have been known to "pretend" I didn't know Abe had a dirty diaper until Kelly gets home from work (I'm talking 20 minutes, not like 3 hours) just so that I don't have to change yet another one. I try to get Lilly to change him for me, but she claims she's too young. Whatever.

So after the third one of the day today (damn those apricots!) I put him in the bath because sometimes that stuff just does not come off even after excessive wiping. His bum looked so cute and dimpled (why is that only cute on babies?) that I had to take a picture. Then he peed on the carpet. Then he finished going to the bathroom back in the tub while I was rinsing him off. Then he layed down in it. Then I rinsed him off again and placed him on a towel while I scrubbed the floor and Lilly scrubbed off the boogies she wiped in the wall. Right above the toilet paper. But that's a story for another time.

There's no real point to this story, I just wanted to post a picture of Abe's delicious bum!

Mail

Dearest Eleanor,

Look what arrived for me in the mail the other day. I bought it for myself after requesting the DVD for Christmas and Valentine's from my significant other but receiving it for neither. When I threatened to just buy it for myself, my significant other said, why didn't you do it a long time ago? Where does the romance go, dear friend?

I have such an affection for Sybilla. Her wit, humor, confidence have always inspired me. She was the perfect role model while we made our way through Ricks, don't you think? I'll never get over this movie and I fondly remember watching it with you in the Dorm 3 lobby. Nothing better than those days eating loaves of Granny Smith white bread and soaking in the romance of My Brilliant Career and A Room With A View. My favorite scene of coarse is the pillow fight between Syb and Harry. I have to say it's one of my top 5 love scenes in movies. And, of course, they don't even kiss! Movies now have lost the art of true romance, in my opinion.

Do promise me that the next time you visit we'll watch it again. There are just certain movies you have to be careful about your company and this is one of them. Til next time always .remember "I'm only good for the local boy who has pimples and stinks."

Your friend,

Quinne

Saturday Adventure

Isn't it interesting that, to wives, repeatedly asking your husband for something is the equivalant to the husband's definition of nagging? Whatever. As long as I get what I want he can call it whatever he likes and I did get what I want on Saturday- a day with the family in search of treasure and adventures unknown. It was Kelly's idea. And it was a good one. But...

...the day began like this (above picture) and I'm, truth be known, a glass-half-empty kind of person (I prefer to say I'm realistic) and so I had my concerns, but the boy perked up and off we went.

We drove and drove and parked and hiked and I had an unfortunate experience with a toilet that's actually just a hole in the ground. Too. tramatic. to. write. about. We drove some more all the way to Overton and Logandale and Lilly squealed with delight at all the horses and I squealed with delight in seeing green lawns! and old homes! and wide open spaces! I was delighted at such a discovery.

We stopped and ate a grease-soaked lunch at a little diner and enjoyed ice cream cones at the appropriately named Scoops. What fun we were having and we hadn't even arrived at our destination yet!

I'm so pretty. I took this glamour shot after realizing that we had already taken 10,000 pictures of the kids or Kelly and the kids and I wanted my turn. There is actually a reason why I stay out of photos.

Anyway, after our luncheon we drove to the Valley of Fire and enjoyed a couple of hikes. Lilly kept saying she was an expert climber and she really is pretty good. Both children loved the hiking and except for the times that a certain member of my family would climb up cliffs and stand on the edge and then return to take daughter up said cliff to stand on edge and I had to remind certain member of my family that if something happened to him he had the keys to the car in his pocket and I didn't want to have to pull them out of his lifeless body, I had a lot of fun, too.

So, it took the whole day and the kids were so well behaved and it was beautiful and perfect weather! We hope to be out having lots of adventures during the next couple of months so stay tuned for our next installement.