When It's Too Quiet

I wish I could relish in those oh so infrequent moments of quiet in my home. Instead, I know instinctively that Abe is up to something. I'll call to him, "Abe! What are you doing?" "Nusing," is his reply. It's then that I know there is trouble a' brewin'. More than once, this is what I find.
Self Portraits by Abe

(and one by an equally naughty older sister)

When You're Six

Yesterday was Lilly's birthday. The day began in our messy living room decorated with banners and streamers and the only two ballooms we could find.

Soon, there were presents. There were only 3 that were hidden and had to be found including a unicorn that needed to be taken to Build-a-Bear for a little stuffing and an outfit. She was thrilled. Lilly had no problem letting us know that she wished she had more presents than just 3. I wanted to tell her that I would happily take them back and give them to a grateful child, but remembering my own childhood greediness, I kept silent.

Birthday donuts were had and wishes were made for the coming year.

And the biggest surprise for our girl was her first trip to the theater to see The Lion King. In a new little outfit, Lilly hopped into the fun car (Kelly's car of course) along with me and Kelly and off we went. I think that quite possibly the most wonderful thing in the world is seeing Lilly's face and eyes light up when she's excited. It was a joy to see her so happy at the show. I hope she always remembers this birthday. There was no party and not many presents, but we wanted her to know how much we love her and are thankful for her and how, to us, there's no better little girl in the whole world.

Dual Nature

What little boy doesn't need a soldier's helmet, sword, sparkly purse, glass slippers and Thomas the Train stickers all over his legs?

Quick Story

So yesterday the kids and I were all in my bathroom while I was trying to get makeup on. Abe, of course, stands up on the rim of the tub and leans over to my sink and starts to push down repeatedly on the soap dispenser. I tell him to stop and he doesn't, of course, and I go to move it as he knocks it over into the sink. Not a big deal, but I say to him, "Things would be so much easier if you just listened to me." Then Lilly pipes in with this statement,
"Mom, sometimes the easy way isn't always the best way."

Heaven help me with this one!

An Open Letter To The Loud Mouth At The Gym

Dear Big Boned Yeller,

When you asked me today how many weeks I was, I knew what was coming. I shouldn't have said it, but my response was an apologetic, "I'm only 26 weeks" instead of a more positive "I'm 26 weeks, yippee!" Then, you said it. Or rather you yelled it halfway across the rec center gym, "Are you sure you're only having one?" And then came your laugh and then my face turned red and then I wanted to hurt you. Instead I replied, "You shouldn't say that cause you're a mom and you should know." You then proceeded to try to cover your large and ample bottom by saying how good I look and I've got a cute little tummy blah blah blah. I stopped listening and focused on breathing through my murderous thoughts while hiking uphill to nowhere on the treadmill. Damage done. But here's what I want to say: I don't get two things. One, who am I being compared to? Why, just because my stomach really sticks out when I'm pregnant, does that mean I'm big enough to carry twins or I'm too big for how far along I am or I'm gaining too much weight (which I'm not and for that I'm quite proud of myself because O! goodness you should have seen me with the other two). And two, why do I care what you or anybody else thinks? I want more than anything to teach my children, especially my daughter(s), to have self-confidence and to like who they are and be grateful for how they look. How can I teach that when I don't have that ability myself? Ay, there's the rub. But I've heard that's what your 30's are for: self acceptance. I hope so. I'm trying.

So, lady with no internal dialogue, just keep your distance because next time I see you, I may just bowl you over with MY BIG BELLY!!!!

Watch out!

Overheard and Questions Asked

I've heard some funny things coming from my kids the last couple of days and wanted to share.
1. Lilly and Abe went into their bathroom so Lilly could go potty. As she went I heard her say, "Oh! It feels so good to get this out!"

2. Lilly had come up with a list of names for our new baby and as an equal opportunist, I asked Abe the same questions. Here's our conversation:
Q: Abe, are we having a boy or a girl? (I'm thinking it wasn't that long ago that my boy and my new baby were hanging out together in the clouds so I was hoping for some truth here)
A: A girl.
Q: (That's what I think so maybe we're on to something) What should we name her?
A: (He thinks for a minute) Chicken nuggets.
He's clearly not ready for this yet.

3. In my house, we don't call poop poop, we call it boujie. The full name is actually boujie na na but it can also be shortened to just bouj. I've never been clear on the spelling but we have terms for bodily functions that have been passed down from my mom and maybe someday will be so popular they'll make it onto wikepedia. Anyway, Abe's been asking lately if he can eat certain things like the cereal box or a toy car. But, yesterday he asked me this: Mom, can I eat my boujie? This frightened me because he's the kind of kid that would try such a disgusting thing and because when he asked if he could eat the cereal box and the car I told him to go ahead and try. Now, he asks me all the time if he can eat his boujie and I look at him and he's got a smile on his face and a glimmer in his eyes. He knows exactly what he's saying but I'm still scared nonetheless.

Things I've Learned During My Blogging Hiatus...

1. I didn't miss blogging.


2. I actually love my children way more when they're not together.


3. Lilly needs to learn to edit. For example, the other day she told me in GREAT detail the process of making Choco-nilla Krispies or something like that. It's a cereal. It started with first, you make the chocolate ones and then you make the white ones separately and then put them in the same bag. Then it continued on and on and I tried to look interested but by the time the truck driver had to deliver it to the store and then the store person put it on the shelf and then we go to the store to pick it out and then pay for it and then take it home and then open the box and then open the plastic part inside and then pour it in a bowl and then get a spoon and put it in our mouths I wanted to scream!!!! I almost felt as though my eyes would roll to the back of my head and I'd collapse before the end of it all. This, my friends, is what's hard about being a mother.


4. The gestational period for humans is far too long. It should be four or five months. Six tops.


5. Husbands don't quite get the difference between women being pregnant tired and non-pregnant tired. Very different. Foot rubs should be given either way, though.


6. Spontaneous crying can be very disconcerting to a husband when there's very little or no provocation. Sorry, Kelly, I can't help it.


7. There's probably more, but I can't remember anything these days. What am I writing about?