Why I Call All Teenagers Hooligans

Because they do stupid things like repeatedly ring your doorbell at four in the morning which happened to us this very day. We could hear the nerds walking around the street outside our house and I ran downstairs to give them a piece of my rattled mind when Kelly piped up with the voice of reason. After all, his beloved car was parked outside in the driveway and we certainly wouldn't want angry hooligans to retaliate while the car was so exposed. Whatever. If they do it again, though, I doubt they'll ever see something as scary as a pregnant woman who already doesn't get good enough sleep chasing after them with a woofle ball bat. I'll keep you posted.