Oh the mistakes I have made...

You know how actors always respond to this question, "Do you have any regrets?" and they always say with their noses high up in the air, "No, because my mistakes have made me who I am blah blah blah." It really makes me want to scream because I've made mistakes and I have regrets!!!! So I've decided to tell you about some of them. The list could be quite lengthy (especially now that I'm raising children) and so I'll do my best to narrow it down to the mistakes I have made today. And it's 1:30 in the afternoon. Here we go...

1. What made me think that I would be okay wearing a shirt that doesn't go up to my ears today? Didn't I know that Abe would throw a fit whilst trying to pick Lilly up from school and said child would yank down said shirt and show what I like to call "the goods" to the passersby? Hello Susie Q and Lovely Ladies from my ward, this is the color bra I'm wearing today. Go buy turtlenecks. Check

2. What made me think that I shouldn't wear a belt so that when the afore mentioned child threw his pre fit fit and I struggled with him to get him in his carseat (wait, maybe he IS stronger than me) and his little feet kicked and pushed my pants down practically around my ankles I could have avoided that problem altogether. Thank goodness I was in my own driveway...this time.

3. Why didn't I shave my head long ago? Either I shave it now or Abe is going to slowly and painfully pull it all out anyway. Remember his tantrum at Lilly's school? He wanted to walk (another thing I should never have allowed...ever) but when I let him down he would stiffly fall to one side and not move. So I picked him up. Another mistake. His hands just went naturally to where they always go when he's angry-- my hair (or Lilly's, but I was closer) and he yanked my hair out of my carefully placed pony tail that I've had for the last 10 years.

4. What was I thinking when I actually encouraged these children to call me mommy? Once such a beautiful word that inspired daydreams of homemade bread and skipping through meadows holding my childrens' hands is now usually said accompanied by "I'm hungry even though you just made me dinner 15 minutes ago" and "Entertain me even though I have a million toys and my room is a disaster." I'm changing my name.

5. I must be off my rocker if I thought I could go grab a salad from Chipotle after picking Lilly up from school and get them some hamburgers and it would be no big deal. Oh the insanity of thinking I'd like to eat something other than a Lean Cuisine for lunch! All I have to say about this is thank goodness I got to Abe before he made it out into the street. That's all I'm saying.

6. Writing #5 is my most current mistake because just last night Kelly and I talked about how we eat out too much and really just need to eat the boring stuff at home. Oops! I thought you wanted to start that tomorrow.

So, if I am to learn and grow from my mistakes, then I guess I'm going to turn into a bald recluse who wears uber modest clothes (to the neck, wrists, and ankles is my new standard) named Tallulah. And don't even think of inviting me to go to Cafe Rio...Oh, that's just too harsh. I'll learn from my mistakes another time. Who wants to go to dinner?