Today demanded a trip to Target. It's my "go to" place for anything and everything plus I needed a diet coke. I was armed with cheetos and purchased drinks for my thirsty (and often naughty) shopping companions and we began to peruse the store for at least the second time this week. Nope, nothing new, but still so so pretty. My phone beeped alerting me to a new message. Hooray! I stopped in front of an aisle near dog food but also with the Target scanner cause I had business there, too. Whilst checking my phone, Abe picked up Target's handy red phone and started dialing. To China most likely. I grabbed it out of his hand and replaced the phone while letting him know that we had to hurry and get out of there because now someone who worked at Target is going to come and see what's going on and probably take him to Target prison. It just came out of my mouth so...effortlessly. This little lie that I thought surely my kids wouldn't believe, but they DID and I made the conscious choice to play along because I figured this may come in handy and not just for me, my friends, but for you too and for the whole world.
As we high tailed it out of there and moved towards the frozen foods, my kids asked me about Target prison. I decided not to make it a scary place but made it far worse and far more real. It's a place, I said, in the back of the store where they take naughty little kids who won't let their mothers do their shopping and they make you sit there and NOT MOVE. (And I'm saying all this without even really thinking for I had some window shopping myself to do.) You can't touch anything, I continue, and it ISN'T FUN. Can you blink, they asked? Only if you have to...but I wouldn't recommend it, I reply. How long do I have to stay there, Abe questions. Only til I'm done shopping, I reassure him. (I'm not totally cruel.) They were in a silent quandary for awhile and were very good the rest of the time. Wouldn't you?
So there you have it...my gift to you. Next time you're at the store and just need TWO MORE MINUTES let your little ones know about Target prison and you won't get two minutes, you'll get ten.



